Preserving Childhood

One of my primary jobs as a mother is to preserve my girls’ childhoods for as long as possible. In a society where it seems like children are pushed to grow up faster and faster, this can sometimes feel like either a monumental challenge or that you aren’t educating your children. There are programs to teach your baby to read, sports intensive programs for toddlers, and tutoring classes to push your child to the next grade level early. What about now though?Isn’t it more important to foster a creative imagination, a sense of confidence, a close family bond?

I guess the biggest question is this: “Why is childhood something that is not tolerated by society?”

I have written about restaurants and airlines banning children as a general policy, stores banning breastfeeding (again, something that should be a norm in childhood), and schools placing unreasonable standards of behavior on children. All this adds up to a clear picture on the mainstream attitude toward kids. Then we have the mass commercialization and marketing to children that is prevalent nowadays.

This week I took AJ out to get some new flip flops. While she tried on a few pairs I walked to Moira’s section to see what they had in stock. I was stunned and appalled by these- hot pink kitten heels- for a 2 year old! What event calls for your baby to be teetering around in heels?! More so, what parent actually buys them and makes their already clumsy baby try to walk in them? (I am pretty clumsy in heels and I am a dancer!)

This is just one example of inappropriate clothing I see marketed to kids. Pre-teens in string bikinis, toddlers with shorts that say “hot stuff”, bras for 7 yr olds…. ugh! Not right!

I want my girls to embrace and enjoy every minute of their childhood because they only get one. I want them to dress up, get messy, play hard, be loud, run…. just be children! Sure I am going to teach them things, like how to help empty the dishwasher and clean the bunny cage. But I am not going to expect perfection and will guide them the same way you help a baby learn to walk, by example more than anything.

Our society is so fast-paced and tech oriented that we forget that it is way more important that your child feel safe and loved instead of knowing how to use an iPad or can sit at a desk for 6 hours without a fuss.

Preserving my girls’ childhood is something that I am striving to do everyday and I hope others do the same… your children will thank you for it!

I Was Olivia*

Last week a post popped up in my blog reader that shocked me, made my breath hitch in my throat… it was a post written by Shannan at Flower Patch Farmgirl called “What Happens to Olivia*”. Since reading that I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Images of a little girl, dirty, socially awkward, poor, neglected, and woefully ignorant to her condition. I conjured this little girl not from a memory of a similar experience, that would have been better. No, that little girl was me.

Looking at me today most wouldn’t guess that I come from a neighborhood that some may refer to as the projects. That poverty, drugs, domestic violence, illness, and welfare were a way of life in my home. I don’t have a lot of clear memories about that time, prior to foster care, but the ones I do have at home are not good ones. I am sure that I went to school in dirty, smelly, torn clothes. I hope that I had good manners, but can’t be sure. I am sure that I was needy- needy for attention, love, care, nourishment.When I get nervous I babble and I am sure I talked ears off- quiet sadness is not my style.

How did I survive a childhood of neglect, malnourishment, social workers, and violence? I had friends whose parents took me in and allowed me to be friends with their children, despite my appearances and awkwardness. They could have easily discouraged our friendship, made excuses why I couldn’t come over to play or sleep. But they never did. I was invited for weekends, to family parties, on outings… I was included in the families. Looking back I can’t remember faces, names, specifics. But I remember feeling safe, wanted, full, and a relief that comes with knowing that you can rest without the weight of the world on your shoulders. I remember making breakfast with my friend Hana’s mom, with dancing around singing The Bodyguard soundtrack with my friend Jodie, spending night after night at Cassie’s house. These people and their parents looked past my aura of poorness and just loved me.

I truly believe that if it wasn’t for these friends and their families I wouldn’t have made it through those years whole, to become who I am today.

This kindness continued after I was sent to live with my aunt, another situation that was equally if not more abusive than the one I was taken from, into my college years. Friends and their families… taking the place of my own and teaching me more than I can write. My social blunders were overlooked, forgiven, and I never felt embarrassed by my lot in life, never made to feel less.

I understand what it is like to be out, enjoying the day with your kids, only to have a child approach you who is a little off, undesirable, an odd peg in your group. But know that any and all kindness bestowed will make a difference in that child’s life. Whether you engage in a conversation, share a snack, or encourage a friendship- it makes a difference. It may take years for that small act to show through or just minutes, who knows.

I want to thank each and every one of my childhood, teen, and college friends who helped me through. Many of you didn’t know a lot about what was going on but accepted me as I was, became my friend, and because of that I am a stronger, better person for it. I hope that for every “Olivia” there is a Hana, Cassie, Jodie and Justin, Rachel, Christine, and so many more to lend support and family where there is none. Thank you all.

Learning on the Street…

 

… Sesame Street, that is!

While most of you know that I try to advocate against all the commercialism directed at our kids, that is one show that I will happily plaster on my girls, let them buy the toys, play the songs, and stare at on TV. I grew up watching Sesame Street, back in the day when Bob and Maria were rockin’ the 80′s clothes, lol. I have fond memories of sitting in my Grandpa’s Lazy Boy with a comforter covering my lap, sipping V-8, and singing along with Cookie Monster and the Count. I learned how to speak Spanish thanks to Sesame Street- in fact, I am pretty sure most of my Kindergarten curriculum was taught by that show!

Now, my youngest baby is as enthralled as I was (and still am!). She totes around Grover, while wearing a Cookie Monster backpack, and bops to Elmo’s Song. And I dance with her. The other girls love seeing actors that they know on the show, learn new words thanks to Murray, and we all love seeing our favorite character’s segment. I am pretty sure if I was a character I would be Rosita, lol.  We love that the show has people of every shade and ability, and they don’t make a big fuss out of anyone’s disability or difference. The characters and people don’t care if you can see, if you are funny looking, they love you just how you are. I believe the show has always advocated for universal acceptance and that is something I am down with.

I love that Sesame Street is still making news, like the story about the push for Bert & Ernie to finally come out of the closet or about Elmo’s song with Katie Perry. I am sure that keeping up with modern times and letting the characters evolve is a challenging job at times! Gabby love “The Word on the Stree” and AJ’s favorite part is Abby’s Flying Fairy School. Me, I am a fan of the old school clips from the 70′s and 80′s.

If you are feeling really nostalgic, you can listen on YouTube to a Sesame Street playlist that has songs by Adam Sandler and more!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? =)