How Much Are You Worth?

This week I read a disturbing news story about a human “Barbie doll” who gave her 7 year old daughter a gift certificate for breast enhancement for her birthday. That is on top of giving this little girl a certificate for liposuction in her Christmas Stocking! And this mother insists that her daughter asks- no, BEGS- for these body altering enhancements. What normal 7 year old asks for surgery to enhance her not yet existent bust line? I can tell you that my 7 year old begs for things like lizards and trips to Italy, she looks at photos of lions and and dinosaurs, and thinks about beating her sister at monopoly. She does not have a doubt in her mind that she is AWESOME just the way she is.

My heart aches for this other little girl in the UK who thinks that her worth lies in overly plumped lips, EE breasts, and cellulite-free thighs. It breaks for all the girls in the world who pour over magazines comparing themselves to the air brushed models. And yes, I feel for this woman who thinks so little of herself that she has spent $800,000 in cosmetic surgery to look like a child’s play toy.

This is what it takes to look so pretty:

I have no problem with this woman altering herself to her heart’s content. She is an adult and it is her choice. I do, however, have a huge problem with her imposing she warped ideas of beauty and self-worth on her impressionable daughter. To make her daughter feel like she is not worth as much because she isn’t picture perfect. Girls have a hard enough time with self esteem , eating disorders, unattainable beauty standards, without mothers encouraging and funding surgery.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against surgery to fix things like crooked noses due to hockey fights or breast implants for women who had breast cancer. I am against gross exaggerations of the human form that perpetuates the sexualization of little girls. Your lips should not look like they were stung by a colony of bees! Your face should show some expression when you are surprised! And the chances that your breast can double as a floatation device when you are only 110lbs is highly unlikely!

I know that I have written about my own girls and their self esteem. I hope that I am setting the example that I want the girls to look up to. To show that makeup is fun and helps us show our best self but at the end of the day, when the makeup is off, it is what is left that matters. That skinny doesn’t necessary mean healthy and that curvy isn’t a bad thing. I try to show that even though I am an inch away from Munchkinland, being short has some distinct advantages. (Like buying cropped pants at the end of season for super cheap because on me they are just the right length!) I would hope that this little girls has someone in her life that she can look up to that is not on a quest for becoming 99% synthetic…. but, if not maybe all this publicity will prompt authorities to step in and do something?

Sigh, so that was what was on my mind tonight as I painted AJ’s nails and talked to Gabby about playing sports this spring… how thankful I am that they are enjoying their childhood and how innocent they are to all these pressures and troubles. Maybe though, if more people talk about it and realize what is going on something will change…. maybe. (This is a great article about how to protect your girl against sexualization!)

Learning on the Street…

 

… Sesame Street, that is!

While most of you know that I try to advocate against all the commercialism directed at our kids, that is one show that I will happily plaster on my girls, let them buy the toys, play the songs, and stare at on TV. I grew up watching Sesame Street, back in the day when Bob and Maria were rockin’ the 80′s clothes, lol. I have fond memories of sitting in my Grandpa’s Lazy Boy with a comforter covering my lap, sipping V-8, and singing along with Cookie Monster and the Count. I learned how to speak Spanish thanks to Sesame Street- in fact, I am pretty sure most of my Kindergarten curriculum was taught by that show!

Now, my youngest baby is as enthralled as I was (and still am!). She totes around Grover, while wearing a Cookie Monster backpack, and bops to Elmo’s Song. And I dance with her. The other girls love seeing actors that they know on the show, learn new words thanks to Murray, and we all love seeing our favorite character’s segment. I am pretty sure if I was a character I would be Rosita, lol.  We love that the show has people of every shade and ability, and they don’t make a big fuss out of anyone’s disability or difference. The characters and people don’t care if you can see, if you are funny looking, they love you just how you are. I believe the show has always advocated for universal acceptance and that is something I am down with.

I love that Sesame Street is still making news, like the story about the push for Bert & Ernie to finally come out of the closet or about Elmo’s song with Katie Perry. I am sure that keeping up with modern times and letting the characters evolve is a challenging job at times! Gabby love “The Word on the Stree” and AJ’s favorite part is Abby’s Flying Fairy School. Me, I am a fan of the old school clips from the 70′s and 80′s.

If you are feeling really nostalgic, you can listen on YouTube to a Sesame Street playlist that has songs by Adam Sandler and more!! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? =)

I Hate My Teenage Daughter

Have you heard of this new show?

Even though all of our TV comes from Hulu, there are still a small amount of commercials and this is the newest one that has been cropping up. As soon as I heard the title my hackles were raised…

One of the hardest things about having daughters is constantly hearing, “Just wait until they are teenagers, you will want to…” {insert comment like “shoot yourself”, “sell them”, “go into therapy”, etc} Honestly I don’t understand how come people need to warn me about how supposedly awful my daughters are going to be as soon as they hit a certain age. It honestly pisses me off. I get that most of our society doesn’t value treating your children as friends, but I do try my best to at least strive to have an honest friendship with the girls. I don’t want them to see me as some ogre authoritative figure who is always bossing them around. And I certainly want them to know that they can tell me anything, ask me anything, and I will listen with an open mind and heart.

But it is shows like these that devalue the relationships that we have with our daughters. It tells girls that they can talk to their parents in a disrespectful way, that parents don’t know squat, and that as soon as they become teens they will be unlovable. Yes, I know that it is a comedy… but just because someone said it should be funny doesn’t mean it really is. If someone wrote animal abuse into a comedy, added a laugh track, and the characters made a joke of it… would that be ok with everyone? Heck no!!! Then how come treating our children, our daughters, with disrespect is ok?

I hate hearing people say how they keep tights reigns on their daughters, that they can’t be trusted, that their daughters are out of control… therefore my daughters are going to be out of control. Personally, I had absolutely no rules, boundaries, or curfews. I dated a lot, had co-ed sleepovers, went out without being specific about where I was going… and yet, I did not get into trouble of any sort- I didn’t even have sex until I was in college… and I had plenty of chances to! I didn’t sneak around because there wasn’t a need to and I didn’t show disrespect because I was treated as if I was capable of making decisions on my own. Of course suggestions were given, but they were shared not forced, so I was more apt to listen.

This is one show that I will not be watching, simply because I have enough on my hands fighting the media body image wars, the commercialism of childhood, and the rampant sexualization of young girls… the last thing I need is them having a complex that I hate them! I believe that raising daughters is hard enough without adding to it unnecessarily.

How do you feel about the show’s title? Is this something that bothers you or that you just accept as part of our culture, that we view teenagers with such horror, dislike, and dread?

The Value of Picking

Treasure hunting, dumpster diving, antiquing, trash picking… American Pickers has come to be one of our favorite shows to watch. This History Channel show caught our attention after Klint had picked on me for my love of cruising the streets the night day before trash pickup, looking for treasures that people have simply thrown out for no good reason. My latest find had been a plum colored vanity table with an intact mirror, a beauty that only needed some refinishing and would go perfectly in a room for little girls. The girls and I love going to the thrift stores as well, looking for treasure boxes, vintage linens, and other things that appeal to our interests. But, American Pickers takes this love to a whole new level.

You have two best friends, Mike and Frank, a dumpster diving duo who adore the dirty, the rusted, and the forgotten. These guys bicker in their van while on the road, make fun of each other whilst picking in leaning barns, and make outrageous bets. We began watching the show simply to see where the guys ended up and who they met on their adventure. Then the show wrapped us up and we got hooked for the inherent values that their picking showed us. Here are some of those lessons:

“Just cause it’s old and rusty doesn’t mean it is worthless” – In today’s society too many people throw out perfectly good stuff simply to get something newer and shinier, rather than taking the time and energy to fix what they have. People are too scared of dirt, treat rusted objects like they are completely trash, and don’t look beyond the surface to see the value. Frank and Mike show us over and over again that trash actually could be treasure if you take time and patience to really look.

“Junk actually tells a story”- When people see loads of junk outside, rusted and overgrown they often think that the people are just dirty and need to throw all of it out. But, in watching the show we have learned so much about America’s history. Photos of women fencing, old amusement memorabilia from Coney Island, vintage cars and bicycles, signs, toys, labels… all of it tells a story. What materials were available, what technology we had to manufacture, what society was interested in at the time… all of it is important to our culture.

“Treat everyone with respect”- This lesson is in every episode because let’s face it, it takes a special kind of person to collect enough stuff to fill up barns, trailers, warehouses, and properties. Some of the people that Mike and Frank encounter are eccentric in appearance, once in awhile a tad scary. But the guys treat everyone with the utmost respect. They don’t talk down to them, try to trick them, or make fun of them. Even when one farmer sends the guys into a barn, fully knowing that there are animals about, and tricks the guys into thinking that the emu would hurt them… they didn’t get upset, they laughed it off actually! These are people who others have written off as weird or mentally irregular, but to the Pickers they are comrades in collecting.

“Patience pays off if you know when to hold and when to compromise”- Sometimes the collectors have a hard time letting go of their treasures, even though they want to sell. To them everything has meaning and the thought of it going away is rough. But Mike and Frank are patient and their haggling skills can’t be beat. At the same time though, they know when it is ok to work with the collector to make a sale happen. My favorite thing that they do, when the collector and the picker can’t find a common ground on the price, is to play a game to see who wins. Flipping a coin, playing Rock Paper Scissors, either way neither feels cheated. What a great way to solve an argument!!! (I think this would work great with kids as well!!)

“Generosity comes in all forms”- Today we watched an episode that touched me more than ever. The guys went to a place called Bushkill Park, a place that has seen massive flooding, Hurricane Ivan, and all kinds of disaster. It has the oldest funhouse in America and the owner called the guys to come pick so he could get some money to reopen the park. Mike found two hand-painted carnival posters that would have attracted people to the park. They weren’t in the best condition but were so cool that the guys bought both for $700. Their researcher Danielle found an appraiser in NYC who told them that the posters were in fact worth about $5,000 EACH! They ended up selling while the guys were still on the road in the area. Now, this is where the story could have ended, with making a $9,300 profit. However, the guys decided to head back to Bushkill and give half of the money to the owner of the park to help with renovations… how awesome is that?! The owner was stunned and I know that the guys felt great about the experience, they made a great profit and helped restore a piece of American history. And the best part is that this is not the first time that Mike and Frank have done something like this, they are extremely generous.

So there ya have it, one of our favorite shows and the values that we are showing the girls, all the while fueling our desire to go pick our neighbors garages and trash!! Cheers!!!

A Tat-olly Cool Barbie

Did you hear about the new Barbie causing all the stir? She has pink hair, trendy clothes, and…. wait for it… tattoos! Not the slip on kind, but the painted on the skin kind. And well, I am sorta excited about her. Her name is Tokidoki Barbie and she is the talk of the town right now.

Now mind you, I can do without the anorexic sized body, but at least the clothes aren’t cleavage revealing. I am all about her pink hair, the pink mini, and of course the tattoos. CNN ran the story here and you should read all the comments. Mothers hide your girls from this Barbie! They are going to come home tattooed with pierced va-ja-jays for sure after playing with this doll!!! I never thought I would be defending a Barbie, but all the fuss over the tats is just ludicrous.

Maybe I am a little biased. I am a tattooed girl and love me some pretty body ink. And when my girls want to get a tattoo, I will fully support them as long as it is well thought out and not some dudes name on their bums. Tattoos are fun, personal, and a statement… plus this is not the 50′s when only social deviants sported tattoos… or is it?

This is a comment about the Barbie, “Encouraging children that tattoos are cool is wrong, wrong, wrong. Mattel why not put a cigarette and a beer bottle in her hand while you’re at it!“.  “Maybe they should sell barbie as a prisoner or a lesbian too, that would also be politically correct or barbie with a stripper pole I bet a lot of strippers would buy that for their daughters too , let’s really prepare these kids for the future. why tell them fairy tales? we all know life is not a fairy tale.” {from here}

Hmmm…. last time I checked I didn’t smoke or drink beer. Obviously though, thanks to my sugar skull tattoo and my three strawberries I am an unfit parent, dooming my girls to a life on the street or hanging off a stripper pole.  Many other comments reflected this ignorant attitude that it is so very wrong to have a Barbie with a little more flair to her than the normal model. (By normal I mean unrealistic proportions, flawless hair and skin, and skimpy but acceptable wardrobe.) Some though at least understood that by playing with a tattooed doll their children will not all of a sudden run away to join a biker gang.

I showed the Barbie to Gabby and AJ, who squeeled with delight. I asked her why she likes the doll, (Gabby just glanced and walked away- girlfriend has no time for dolls, no matter how punked out they are!) and AJ replied, “Well, she has pink hair and nice sunglasses… oh, and pants like mine!”. Fair enough. She didn’t even care about the tattoos because in this house they are cool but not a big deal. Of course… the fact that AJ currently has 3 or 4 Hello Kitty tattoos on her arms may factor into that, lol.

At $50 each, the Tokidoki Barbie is not something that every parent is going to buy on a whim… unless they are fans of cool clothes, punked out hair, and pretty girlie tattoos!!! =)