Still Here

I’m still here and I’m sorry that I haven’t posted in a couple of days. I have had a family crisis and am still reeling from the event, the fall out, and the severity of what happened. I have talked about my brother who tried to kill himself last year because he was severely depressed. Unfortunately depression has affected another member of my family to the point where I had to get outside help to intervene.

Scary doesn’t begin to describe what it feels like to know that someone you love wants to take their life and has the means to do so with ease. I have never been in that situation, where I didn’t know what to do and how to calm the person down. I am so very thankful that I had friends that I could call for support who advised me that I needed help quickly from professionals.

I have been reading a lot about this disease and am lucky enough to have an online support group that I have been talking to for the past year. It is really hard because I have a lot on my plate as it is with teaching dance, recitals, homeschooling, a baby, etc. I feel like I am treading water in a very chopping sea… at any moment a wave is going to topple me under and I won’t be any use to anyone.

I had posts planned about Easter, about the news that are being proposed that would taken away even more rights from women, posts about fun carefree stuff. But the events from Saturday are still fresh in my mind and I am trying to sort out all the emotions and logistics of what happened and how to make sure that it never, ever, happens again. I am going to go to a support group to help me with the new level that this disease has taken my loved one, all I do know is that I am going to fight like hell to help and going to rally everyone we know to help as well. Just like a person would call for help if a disease like cancer or diabetes struck, mental illness is no different.

So yes, I am here and the fun, normal Connie, posts will be back. Hang in there with me and if you could send a kind word or thought my way I would greatly appreciate it. Trust me, every one will be read and treasured. Thank you dear friends.

8 thoughts on “Still Here

  1. My thoughts are with you and your loved one(s) right now. I hope that the help (s)he is receiving is beneficial. Depression, and many other behavioral/mental health issues, have a terrible stigma and are very important for people to understand and be empathetic and non-judgemental. THese people are very lucky to have someone like you in their lives. Do you mind sharing where you found an online support group?

    1. is the group I belong to and they have support group for everything under the sun, not just depression or mental illness. Thank you for your comment Amy, I am really lucky to know you. =)

  2. Hi Connie,
    My prayers are with you, mental illness is just like a cancer and sometimes just as hard to detect. I wish you and your family all the best and that whom ever it is receives the best care possible.
    You are very brave to talk about this subject and you are my hero for being able to do it with grace.
    Black Forest Cottage

    1. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers Donna! It means so much to me to have my internet “family” there to turn to for support when I need to just catch my breath.

  3. I am so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this, Connie. I lost a friend to suicide 16 years ago (whoa) and what I wouldn’t give to have had the chance to head it off before it happened and shocked us all. But I can see now that with that opportunity comes so much other stress and heartache. It’s never easy, but as someone who has struggled with depression myself, I’m glad that there are people like you out there who are willing to understand and reach out for help when your loved one can’t or won’t. Hang in there – you really are a gift to those you care about.

    1. Thank you garlicgirl for your kind words and for sharing your story. I have always maintained that while I have no clue what it is like to be depressed chronically, I can sympathize and be here for whatever that person needs. I hope that you are doing well and have someone to lean on as well!

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